Computer Viruses

BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES:

  • CLINTON VIRUS
    Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO
    memory.

  • VIAGRA VIRUS
    Makes a new hard drive out of an old
    floppy.

  • LEWINSKY VIRUS
    Sucks all the memory out of your
    computer, then emails everyone
    about what it did.

  • RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
    Saves your data, but forgets where
    it is stored.

  • MIKE TYSON VIRUS
    Quits after two bytes.

  • OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
    Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly
    shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly
    expands to 200 MB.

  • DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
    Deletes all old files.

  • ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
    Disks can no longer be inserted.

  • DISNEY VIRUS
    Everything in your computer goes Goofy.

  • PROZAC VIRUS
    Screws up your RAM but your
    processor doesn't care.

  • JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS
    Only attacks minor files.

  • ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
    Terminates some files, leaves,
    but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.

  • LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
    Reformats your hard drive into
    a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards
    it through Windows.